FLYMF's New Year's Resolutions

by James Seidler

With every New Years comes the opportunity to move one step closer to the life goals one has set for oneself. With this potential progress in mind, FLYMF offers forth the following New Year’s resolutions.

1. Get laid more (Trust us, personal growth will follow).

2. Dedicate more time each week towards falling under the sway of organized religion.

3. Finally get serious about learning to play the guitar (Fifth anniversary edition).

4. Become more knowledgeable about other nation’s cultures. A good place to start is the “stereotype” section of your local library.

5. Tell the busboy at the Pink Taco how you feel about him. You know, the one with the great ass.

6. Tackle mounting credit card debt in a fiscally responsible manner by faking own death.

7. Kill them. Kill them all. Mwah ha ha.

© 2005 James Seidler, All Rights Reserved.