Notes For Bono's First Address As President Of The United States

by David Gianatasio

Propose Killarney as 51st state. (Or 52nd. Whatever.)

Van Morrison's birthday = national holiday. (If he's already dead: national day of mourning.)

Remember to thank Al Gore, Ultravox.

Work in phrase: "And there's not a damn thing Microsoft or Halliburton can do about it!"

No New Taxes!

I was too born in Texas!

Congratulate Sting on running a fine opposition campaign.

Work in phrase: "On MY watch? Not bloody likely!"

Say The Edge is tuning in from a secure location. (Got big laugh at inauguration.)

Work in phrase: "This isn't a rebel song. This song is ... 'Sunday Bloody Sunday.'" (Got big ovation at Santa Monica Civic Center encore.)

© 2005 David Gianatasio, All Rights Reserved.