Signs Terrorists May Have Corrupted Our Site

by James Seidler

In our information age no website is safe, no matter how hilarious, from the scourge of terrorism.   Server space can be corrupted to store plans for Jihad, seemingly innocuous message boards can be used to plot Madrid-style train bombings, and heinous messages of every sort can be passed along on hijacked homepages.   With a goal towards keeping FLYMF secure (and in response to Justice Department memo 1642), we ask you, our loyal readers, to keep watch for the following signs terrorists may have taken over our site.

1. If an issue isn't funny.

2. Official FLYMF logo replaced with Arabic lettering and Clip-art depictions of the Washington Monument bursting into flames.

3. Furt and Sampter replaced with Zionist and Martyr.   Actually, this may have some humor potential--we could make the same jokes Op/Ed columnists have already made eight million times.

4. Sometimes terrorists operate in code, so you have to keep your eyes open for hidden messages.   For instance, look at the first letter that begins every line--if they add up to spell, "Official Terrorist Memo: Embassy Bombing This Thursday, 3PM," that's probably terrorists.

5. If next FLYMF contest prompt is "Most efficient way to distribute poison in New York City subway system."

6. If we ever say a bad thing about the best goddamn country in the world.   USA!   USA!   USA!   USA!

© 2005 James Seidler, All Rights Reserved.