Conversation Topics For Thanksgiving Dinner

by James Seidler

It’s that time of year again, when the whole family gets together for a celebration of family, community, and half-slurred insults. So, stuff that turkey, cut yourself a piece of pumpkin pie, and get ready to be the life of the party with FLYMF’s topics for Thanksgiving dinner.

1. How the “red man” must not have wanted it bad enough.

2. Annual stock-taking of which child you love the most.

3. Recap of youngest’s travel hockey season in excruciating minute-by-minute detail; people are fascinated by that kind of thing.

4. Uncle Stan’s treatise on “How Dem Homos Is Takin’ Over the Country.” Strong parallels to 1997’s “Feminazis” and 1994’s “Taco-Vendors” talks.

5. Whoever isn’t there.

6. Discuss consensus of a woman’s right to choose…oh wait, that’s right, half of you believe the exact opposite.

7. The great shared language—one more Budweiser.

© 2004 James Seidler, All Rights Reserved.