My Fetishist Things
by J.D. Smith

(Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things")

Bustiers filled out with bountiful vixens,
Fishnets and garters and all of the fixin's,
Stilettos and corsets and pasted-on wings,
These are a few of my fetishist things

Pubic hair trimmed in tight angles and doodles
Dildos and testicles bunched up in boodles
Leather masks, handcuffs, and studded G-strings,
These are a few of my fetishist things
 
Ball-gags and latex and multiple lashes
Nipple-clamps tight on a gimp grooved with gashes
Dildos and dungeons and shiny cock rings
These are a few of my fetishist things

When the crab bites,
When the clap stings,
When I've been a cad
I simply remember my fetishist things

And then I don't feel so bad