My Letter to Me, FLYMF's
Only Paying Advertisor

by Chip Lipcut

Dearest abortmemommy.org,

Our great organization P.A.P.A. (Pro-Abortion People of America) is ecstatic about this year’s presidential election. As you know from our web site, abortmemommy.org, it is our commitment to see through the fall of humankind, and not since Lyndon Johnson and Harry Truman before him has there been this much senseless death linked to the White House.

And we like it. We encourage it.

President Bush has done a phenomenal job in leading thousands of soldiers and innocent, meaningless Iraqi civilians into their hellish and premature deaths. And let’s not forget the thousands crushed and burned alive at the World Trade Center on September 11th while Bush had been napping and/or hunting living things on his ranch in Crawford, Texas in the days leading up to it. I won’t mention the victims at the Pentagon because it’s safe to say we’ve already forgotten them. But that’s a lot of blood on his hands anyway. Not as good as Truman, but he’s going in the right direction.

But Bush’s opponent John Kerry might not be a bad alternative. He didn’t seem to have a problem gunning down twenty or so Commie, peasant soldiers in Vietnam while they were trying to domino Southeast Asia. And one helluva job they did at that. Bush has killed tens of thousands with his policies, but maybe getting a guy in there who’s actually pulled the trigger a few times might result in a greater loss of life. Certainly Kerry would be better in hand-to-hand combat.

And what about the wives? Laura Bush? She killed a guy. A high school boyfriend. Ran him the fuck over with her car. It was an accident, they say, but she still killed him. Probably saved the guy a trip to Vietnam.

And Kerry’s wife Theresa Heinz Kerry lost her first husband, Heinz fortune heir Senator John Heinz, in a plane crash that killed him and four others. Although she’s never been implicated in the crash, that’s a whole lot of inherited ketchup money not to be suspicious.

So with all this blood, how do you pick a candidate to actually vote for? They’ve killed. They’ve married women who’ve killed. Then what is the deciding factor?

It is our position that all this senseless death is along the right track, but we believe that the one solution for curing our nation’s and world’s problems is to abort our unborn children. And it’s this belief that leaves us with only one choice for President: George W. Bush.

Yes, we know that President Bush’s stance on abortion seems to be contrary to our cause. He claims to be pro-life. He attracts all the pro-life advocates and the religious right, who have evangelical-size ejaculations every time they save a baby.

But unlike John Kerry, George Bush is an abortionist. In 1971—when abortions were illegal mind you––he helped a girlfriend get an abortion. This piece of is information is, of course, alleged, and the mainstream media has politely sidestepped addressing the issue. And all parties involved have been threatened and coerced properly not to spill the beans. But George W. Bush’s baby was aborted.

And that, dear me, is the kind of initiative the Pro-Abortion People of America want in the leader of America. We want someone who will get in there and have no qualms about offing his own child. George Bush has had one abortion, and that is the hard part. Now his soul has been set free to lead our nation to abort all of our children so that we can live in a better place.

So the Pro-Abortion People of America proudly endorse George W. Bush to be reelected and to remain in the highest office in our great land.

Onward abort!

Most Assuredly Sincere,

Chip Lipcut
President/CEO
Pro-Abortion People of America
www.abortmemommy.org

© 2004 Chip Lipcut, All Rights Reserved.