The Bard Battle Tape Remix
by Elizabeth Olson and John Mullen

Drop a Beat.

Shakespeare: Oh look he's winding up his watch of wit

The watch of wit that runs ten minutes slow

And your humor quite like the words you spit

Just as the wind, all never fail to blow

I pray you stand a bit further from me

Your words only slightly more foul than thou

Though you may guess what good performance be

It's made quite clear that you just don't know how

It seems a lack of structure's what you face

You try to cram these words in spaces, well

You use words that are too small for their space

Perhaps you have a love life parallel 

MC: Listen old man you can mock me all day

But I got a glock that'll knock ya from a block away

You got a sword, that's funny like taffy,

I'm buckin shots, whatcha gonna do? Stab me?

Fuck your prose I'll put a fist to your grill

I'm not just an MC, I got a license to kill

I wish there was more a me so I could go to the store for me and buy more forties while you're on the mic boring me

I'll blaze a blunt pick and wreck your set, I'm the baddest motha fucka you probably ever met 

Shakespeare: You are a mother fucker so you say?

And the baddest one, my dear that's sad

We never fucked our mothers in my day,

And for her sake I hate to hear you're bad

I'd like to see you do what I can do

Now please prepare for the pace of the game

Drop it in iambic pentameter

Just fit your words that now, do the same

M.C.: Straight M C it's not hard to fit your form

Stuck with shit like yesterday's piece of corn

I can dis you all day cause I'm servin game and the best you can come up with is Scurvey Knave?

To be or not to be--that's not a question

That's a statement--you want an English lesson?

You just got clowned so go sit down or let the shit drop lemme see your old ass kick some hip hop 

Shakespeare: I started all this shit I'm the reason that you spit and I'll forever stand so it's time for you to sit

I've been around 500 years, be here 500 more your shit didn't even start till like 1984.

I'll drop it a capella cause this parts worth saying

You're not so bad kid so-thanks for playing